Well, it's summer time. You know what that means! Food, fun, friends...and funding. How can I explain how I feel about fund raising? I guess it's sort of a love-hate relationship.
I hate how it causes me to stress- about the future, ministry, finances, my calling. I hate when my focus shifts off of God and onto the goal to raise. I hate the lies that surface every time I sit down to work on fund raising. I hate the fears it causes to swell up inside of me. I hate that feeling in my gut as soon as I pick up the phone. I hate the waiting game!
How, then, is it possible for me to love this process too? I love the stories I get to share, the lives I get to be a part of, the people I get to pray for, the miracles I get to witness. I love the friends I get to catch up with. I love the opportunity to depend wholly on God to provide. I love the challenge I experience in fund raising. The faith challenge, when the impossible becomes possible. I love how it pushes me to the edge (no pun intended) of myself. I love how God uses this as a tool to carve out new depths of trust in my heart. I love watching Him work, leaving me utterly speechless. I love that no matter how hard I work, it's never me that makes it happen. It's Him, always Him.
Obviously the good outweighs the bad, but this process is still difficult. To all my EDGE friends, be encouraged: the Lord provides. I wanted to share one story to encourage our hearts.
Last summer, as I embarked for the first time on this fund raising journey, I felt humbled but certain that God had called me to this and that He would provide. I was so encouraged by my friends' love and support, and how the gifts started coming in. It was a slow process, slower than some, and I began to wonder why the Lord wasn't providing what it was I needed in order to be on campus full time. I had to pull back and reduce my budget, and was at first very discouraged. Though that's not what I had planned, I knew that in this, too, God was calling me to trust Him.
It felt like this was the most unloving thing God could do to me: call me into full time ministry, to leave behind everything, and then not provide for me. But I didn't know the future; what at the time seemed so unloving, was actually the most loving thing God could have done for me. When my personal life took a nose dive with the loss of my grandfather and my dad in the same week, I had freedom to say no to certain things, time to grieve and heal.
"He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." Psalm 18:19
He gave me the gift of space. He wasn't withholding anything good from me. Though at the time I thought I knew how it was supposed to look and what my needs were, God knew so much more. He rescued me because he delighted in me.
I continued to raise support throughout the whole year, gifts continually coming in, many of them surprising me. I lost count of how many times I looked online or opened a letter with a check and my jaw nearly hit the floor. I crept slowly closer to my budget, by the grace of God. About a month ago, we wrapped up ministry on campus as students finished their finals and headed home for summer. I had 4 trips to take in 3 weeks; my car was packed and I was ready to hit the road. I opened my computer to check my email and decided to check my gifts online as well. God did the impossible. On my very last day in Tallahassee, I had a couple unexpected gifts. I entered them in, and would you believe I reached 100% of my budget? I serve a mighty and faithful God.He provided everything I needed, to the dollar, to the day.
Of course, now with the funding year beginning all over, I'm starting at the bottom again. Discouraged? Not at all. The Lord saw me to 100% only a month ago. It took all year, but that meant that every single day I was depending on Him to provide, and I have full confidence that He will do it again. Though, when it comes to His provision, I've learned not to put God in a box. Here's to another year of witnessing miracles!
Hey all! I thought I'd give an update on the summer.
The school year finished well. It is amazing to look back over the year and praise God for all of the great things He did and provided. I was so blessed to be able to meet with 3-4 students on a regular basis. I thought I would introduce you to a few of them so that you can be praying for them this summer.
Hannah. Hannah, a junior, and I met last summer at the student leadership retreat, and learned that we would be co-leading a freshman Bible study together in Kellum, a dorm on campus. She is the student "insider" I've partnered with to meet and minister to the freshman women in Kellum. What a year it has been! We have both learned so much about God, his word, leadership, and freshman girls! We would meet together regularly to prep for Bible study and share life and encouragements. I honestly looked forward to every single time I was able to spend with Hannah! She is such a joy and a light.
You can be praying for Hannah this summer! She just landed in Japan a few hours ago. She and 6 other men and women are part of a summer mission trip team with the Navigators who are going to be working with and ministering to college students at Utsunomiya University. To learn more about her summer visit this link: http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_111766245571142&view=doc&id=111767128904387. Pray for Hannah's (and her whole team's) safety in Japan, for deep relationships to be cultivated with the Japanese students, and opportunities to share the Gospel. Please also continue to pray for the Japanese as many have lost so much and many loved ones in the devastating earthquake in March. Pray that this would be an opportunity to share with students about God's great love for them; pray that their hearts would be softened, and not hardened.
Tiffany. Tiffany, a senior, and I started meeting at the beginning of the spring semester. She was finishing her last semester at Florida State and starting to think about life after graduation. Since I have recent experience in this area, we met once a week to talk and pray about the future, fears, life, and how God plays the central role in it all. We talked about how to trust God when life seems so uncertain and full of questions, got in His word together, and prayed about all the possibilities available to Tiffany.
Great news! Tiffany graduated 3 weeks ago and God has provided a job for her! She just started working at a doctor's office here in Tallahassee last week. This is such an answer to prayer. She will be able to work, gain experience, trust God, and remain in community with her friends from school. Pray for her relationships with her co-workers, that God would use her as a light in the work field.
Emily. Emily, a junior, and I met together all year, spending time in God's word and learning how to apply it to our lives. Honestly, it was such sweet time because it always centered around the Bible; we read, shared and prayed Scripture together. Emily is an awesome young woman who has a heart for God's word and for people. I'm excited to continue to grow with her next year!
This summer, Emily is interning with CMT in Nashville, TN! You can pray that God would use her as a light in the lives of the other interns and co-workers. Pray also that God would provide a good community of believers through the local church for her. Pray for her heart and her personal time with God; she's on her own and away from friends and family.
Ruthie. Ruthie, a freshman, and I met a couple times together at the end of the spring semester. I shared in earlier posts that she recently suffered the great loss of her brother. We spent some really sweet time processing, grieving, praying, and reading God's word. She has a beautiful heart, but is definitely hurting from this loss.
Please pray for Ruthie. She is taking a trip to Costa Rica- so pray for her safety on this trip. She will also be spending time at home, so please also pray for this- it's the first time she will be spending an extended time at home since her brother passed away. Pray for her heart, that God would continue to heal her and draw her closer to Himself in this season of grief.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your continued prayers for these students! I am blessed by each one of them. It has been such a great experience joining what the Lord is doing at Florida State and ministering to each of their needs. I couldn't be doing this without your prayers and support!
As for me, I will be spending the next few weeks in Tallahassee working on funding, as well as taking a trip down to Tampa and Orlando. I will be spending the month of July in Pigeon Forge, TN working with college students at the Summer Training Program. These students have been given the opportunity to spend their summer investing in their relationship with God by working full time at Dollywood and ministering to co-workers, growing together with a team of guys or girls, studying the Bible, growing in leadership, and sharing the Gospel. I am so excited to see what this summer holds!
Please pray for my funding (stories to come!) and travels. If God has led you to give, follow this link: http://www.navigators.org/us/staff/dempsey (thank you!!). Pray also for my heart as I continue to process. I'm looking to meet with a counselor here in Tallahassee; please pray that God would provide the right one. I'm also having to begin thinking about what the year after this one will look like; pray for guidance and peace about the future.
That's all for now! Keep checking for updates (there are a lot more to come!).
All this pain I wonder if I’ll ever find my way I wonder if my life could really change at all All this earth Could all that is lost ever be found Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us
All around Hope is springing up from this old ground Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us
You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new You make me new, You are making me new
You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of the dust You make beautiful things You make beautiful things out of us
I set out for Fort Myers a couple weeks ago. As many of you know, going there is like revisiting one of the most painful parts of my life. Everything, every place, holds memories of a life I once lived, a life that has been drastically transformed into something completely different than I ever expected. Going back there is never easy, and this trip was especially difficult. It was the last trip to mom's house to complete the work needed to be done before our renters moved in: cleaning, selling and storing the cars, making sure the electricity and plumbing are working, changing the locks, and the final trips to Goodwill- letting go of more of my childhood, dropping off pieces of my mom at the thrift store. This was the last time I would ever see my mom's house the way it looked as I grew up. Not a fun trip.
I knew it would be challenging, so on the way down I began memorizing some scripture that God has laid on my heart this semester. This season is what I would call 'The Wilderness.' It's dark and unfamiliar, lots of thorns and uneven ground. There are two verses that describe this season well. The first is found in Hosea:
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her." Hosea 2:14
The Lord has allured me and brought me into this wilderness: I didn't enter in by my own choice. But there is hope: He promises to speak tenderly to me, and he has. I can't quite describe how much this season has impacted my relationship with God. The only reason I'm still standing is by his strength. He has been faithful to provide His word as nourishment just as I need it. I know my Lord more intimately than I ever have before this wilderness, and for that I wouldn't trade it.
The hope continues in the second verse he gave me:
"Who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved?" Song of Solomon 8:5
This wilderness won't last forever, but the grace I've experienced within it I will never forget. So much changes in the wilderness; God uses these times to test us, to develop within us endurance, character and hope (Romans 5: 3-4). In fact, so much has changed that people ask 'who is that?' God transforms us in the wilderness to a point where we are unrecognizable. And what's more, and most important, I will come up leaning on my Beloved. This season has taught me more than a lifetime's worth of what it means to depend on God, and that is worth a lifetime in the wilderness.
