Lessons from Little Women

Over the past month or so, I've engaged in conversation with friends on the topic of singleness, dating, waiting well, marriage, and the unique roles that men and women play in the process. I've received a lot of great thoughts, and if you're reading this, would love to hear yours.

Processing these thoughts with my roommates, we've discussed how challenging it can be as a single woman to wait for a man to lead well in these areas. However, as I've listened to my male friends, I've realized that there are equal challenges from their perspective! From the

female perspective, waiting well doesn't mean waiting around. It means living, pursuing the Lord whole-heartedly,and becoming godly women who invest in the lives of others. It does not mean fretting about our singleness, questioning what we are doing wrong, or going to great lengths to gain the interest of men. I am so thankful I have so many wonderful women in my life who have set an example for me, and lovely single friends with whom I walk through this season.

This is not some new concept with which my friends and I are wrestling. For ages, women have asked these same questions, and it's natural to do so. I can't wait to experience the joys of being a wife and mother! But this season too is a gift, meant to be used well and not wasted by wishing for future seasons. As I've been pondering these things, I came across a beautiful piece of literature speaking directly to these thoughts.

One of my favorite stories of all time is Little Women, written by Louisa May Alcott. I picked it up to read again during the Christmas holiday, and have been so encouraged by all it's little lessons. In the following excerpt, Mrs. March is sharing her greatest hopes for her four daughters with the eldest two, Meg and Jo. She says,

"I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good; to be admired, loved, and respected; to have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow to try them as God sees fit to send. To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman, and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience. It is natural to think of it, Meg, right to hope and wait for it, and wise to prepare for it, so that when the happy time comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy. My dear girls, I am ambitious for you, but not to have you make a dash in the world- marry rich men merely because they are rich, or have splendid houses, which are not homes because love is wanting. Money is a needful and precious thing- and, when well used, a noble thing- but I never want you to think it is the first or only prize to strive for. I'd rather see you poor men's wives, if you were happy, beloved, contented, than queens on thrones, without self-respect and peace."

"Poor girls don't stand any chance, Belle says, unless they put themselves forward," sighed Meg.

"Then we'll be old maids," said Jo stoutly.

"Right, Jo; better to be happy old maids than unhappy wives, or unmaidenly girls, running about to find husbands," said Mrs. March decidedly. "Don't be troubled, Meg, poverty seldom daunts a sincere lover. Some of the best and most honored women I know were poor girls, but so love-worthy that they were not allowed to be old maids. Leave these things to time, make this home happy, so that you may be fit for homes of your own, if they are offered you, and contented here if they are not."

I hope this is as encouraging to you as it was to me. Ladies, let us learn the secret of being content and practice the art of patience. Let us not go chasing a man, even in our hearts, lest we become "unmaidenly girls." Let us trust the Lord for His best, and not settle, becoming unhappy wives. I know one of the greatest gains is to be considered love-worthy, and one does not become love-worthy by trying, but by trusting. Let us make the homes we have happy ones, whether we live with our parents, roommates, or alone. And let us always give love first, without the expectation of its return. So much to learn and apply from a simple story of four sisters!

He Heard Me

A Place of Hidden Treasure

How many of you are Zelda fans? I am. As a kid and teenager, it was my favorite Nintendo game. Of course as a girl, I loved the story of Link's bravery to embark on a great unknown journey in order to rescue Princess Zelda from the evil Ganondorf. There were many lands to explore, enemies to conquer, tasks to accomplish, and helpless victims to rescue. Seriously, it is still the only game worth playing! Link could do very little until he had the simple basics: a sword and a shield. Once he gained these weapons, the journey really begins! As in any journey, he needs money. There were plenty of ways to find those precious rupees. My favorite? Find the field. There were always tons of hidden rupees amongst the shrubs! I would find that field and cut down every living thing, collecting rupees until my wallet was busting at the seams.

I bring back all this nostalgia for a purpose. This reminds me of one of the shortest and simplest of all the parables in the gospel. Matthew 13:44 says,

"The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."

The kingdom of heaven is of more worth than anything here on this earth. It is worth giving up everything I have in order to keep it. In fact, in joy we give up all things for it! I've always loved this parable, but only recently did I read something that Elisabeth Elliot wrote in reference to it in her book, The Path of Loneliness. She writes,

"Our loneliness cannot always be fixed, but it can always be accepted as the very will of God for now, and that turns into something beautiful. Perhaps it is like the field wherein lies the valuable treasure. We must buy the field. It is no sun-drenched meadow embroidered with wildflowers. it is a bleak and empty place, but once we know it contains a jewel the whole picture changes. The empty scrap of forgotten land suddenly teems with possibilities. Here is something worth selling everything to buy. In my case, 'selling everything' meant giving up the self-pity and bitter questions. I do not mean we are to go out looking for chances to be as lonely as possible. I am talking about acceptance of the inevitable. And when, through a willed act we receive this thing we did not want, then Loneliness, the name of the field nobody wants, is transformed into a place of hidden treasure."

So, whether you are experiencing the loneliness of a new job, a new town, a new season of life, singleness, the loss of someone or something you love, an empty nest, a small community, or whatever else God deems worthy of allowing into your present circumstances, have hope. It is a place of hidden treasure. God is using it for such good purposes of which we will not fully understand the depths this side of heaven. And believe me when I say you are not alone in your loneliness. That doesn't sound like it makes sense, even when I say it to myself. But I have learned how very true it is as Christ comes along side me on every lonely journey this season has to offer. I praise God for that, and I am so thankful that this field I have taken hold of is brimming with hidden treasure and precious rupees.

Waterfall

Lydia

Last weekend, all of the Navigator women from Florida and south Georgia met together at a conference to learn about different women from the Bible and the character they possess. I had the awesome opportunity of leading a workshop on Lydia (Acts 16)! I decided to title my workshop "A Responsive Heart" based on how Lydia responded to God. It was such a great experience, and I wanted to share the discoveries I found along the way as I prepared for this workshop!

I started our time by sharing a little bit of my history with Lydia. I "met" Lydia 3 years ago as I was reading through Acts. It was right after my mom had been diagnosed with cancer and told me that she might only have 6 more months left to live. I was devastated when she told me this because she didn't have a personal relationship with God. At this point, I had been trying for years to share the Gospel with her, but there was something holding her back from trusting the Lord. She believed in God, but like Lydia she was a ‘worshipper of God’ and did not have a relationship with Christ.

Two weeks later, I found myself in Acts 16, reading about Lydia. This was a morning I was going home, and sharing the Gospel with my mom again. When I read Lydia’s story, my heart rejoiced because I saw so much of my mom in her story. Mom was like Lydia in three ways: she was an independent woman, she was hospitable- always opening her home, and she was a ‘worshipper of God.’ So I began to pray then and there that God would finish my mom’s story like He finished Lydia’s, that my mom would receive the message of the gospel that He was sending me home to share with her. I prayed in my journal in November 2008,

“Lord, I ask right now, I plead with you, would you go before me, prepare my mom’s heart to hear your message. Strengthen me and give me courage to speak to her as I ought. Would you please open my mom’s heart to respond to the good news I’m sharing with her. Bring my mom to an understanding of your word, let her see her need for you, and offer her life to follow you. I want to share the Gospel, and eternity with her! Lord, please save my mom! I pray you would use these difficult circumstances, this cancer, to bring her into a relationship with you. Let this be a testimony, and let it spur others on to share their faith with those they love- may it all bring glory to your name!”

Here is Lydia's story:

From Troas we put out to sea and sailed straight for Samothrace, and the next day on to Neapolis. From there we traveled to Philippi, a Roman colony and the leading city of that district of Macedonia. And we stayed there several days. On the Sabbath we went outside the city gate to the river, where we expected to find a place of prayer. We sat down and began to speak to the women who had gathered there. One of those listening was a woman named Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth from the city of Thyatira, who was a worshiper of God. The Lord opened her heart to respond to Paul’s message. When she and the members of her household were baptized, she invited us to her home. ‘If you consider me a believer in the Lord,’ she said, ‘come and stay at my house.’ And she persuaded us... After Paul and Silas came out of the prison, they went to Lydia’s house, where they met with the brothers and encouraged them. Then they left.
Acts 16: 11-15, 40

That's it! Three verses that speak directly about Lydia in the whole Bible! But we can learn SO much from her! So what should we look for in her story? Here are some questions to ponder:

• How is Lydia described?
• What do we know about her?
• What character traits do you observe in Lydia?
• What actions do we observe in Lydia?
• What do we learn about God from this passage?

And here are some observations we made:

• She was a seller of purple cloth (a business woman) (14)
• She was a woman of prayer (13)
• She was a “worshipper of God” (14)
• She was seeking to know God (13-14)
• She was seeking out other believers (13)
• She was not a Christ-follower when Paul shared his message (14)
• God was the one who opened her heart to respond (14)
• She was baptized (15)
• She confessed she was a believer (15)
• She shared Christ with her family (15)
• She invited and insisted that Paul, Silas, Timothy and Luke (and most likely others) stay with her family (15)
  
• She was hospitable (15)
  

I also found some helpful historical information about Lydia and her time as I researched her:

• A dealer of purple cloth. Purple cloth was expensive and valuable as a sign of nobility or royalty so she was probably a wealthy businesswoman. This reveals that not only she had an education and skill, she also possessed strength and determination to work in a male dominated society.
• From the city of Thyatira. This small city was known for its commerce in Asia Minor. It was in an area noted for its abundant crops and the manufacture of purple dye.
• A worshiper of God. This term was used for Gentiles who believed in the Jewish God, Yahweh. Although they believed in God, they were not yet believers in Christ.
• The passage also says that members of her household were baptized along with her. So she would be influential person in her family.
• The long-term results of Lydia’s life:

-Lydia was the first convert in Europe (even though she herself was not European)

-A number of people in Philippi had responded to the Gospel

· “Naturally, their first meeting place was Lydia’s home. By opening her home to the apostle Paul, Lydia had the honor of hosting in her own living room the earliest meetings of the first church ever established in Europe!”

· Because of her hospitality and generosity to Paul and his missionary team, the gospel obtained a solid foothold in Philippi.

· We now have the book of Philippians!!

But the main focus of our time during the workshop was on two things we should observe in Lydia's life: her heart and her response.

Lydia's heart was open! She was searching for God, and her heart was His responsibility. She had been worshipping God in the only way she knew how at that point, but she was faithful. It was common at the time for Gentiles to be seeking in this way. In the next chapter in Acts, we see Paul's response to the men of Athens, a city full of idols:

“Men of Athens! I see that in every way you are very religious. For as I walked around and looked carefully at your objects of worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO AN UNKNOWN GOD. Now what you worship as something unknown I am going to proclaim to you."
Acts 17:22-23

This is exactly what Paul was doing when he met Lydia- he was proclaiming the Gospel to her! We know that God is not limited by any means, and he gives us a promise in Jeremiah 29:13:

"You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."

God is not hiding from anyone. He wants to be found, and we see this in Lydia's life: she was searching for Him, and she found Him. What's important to observe here is that God was the one who opened her heart to respond to Paul's message. Paul was faithful to share, but salvation belongs to the Lord:

And they cried out in a loud voice: “Salvation belongs to our God, who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb.”
Revelation 7:10

Our hearts are in God's hand. He created us and fashioned us each uniquely, including our hearts! Look at the king, the most powerful man in the land:

"The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD; he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases."
Proverbs 21:1

The Hebrew word used here for "heart" means the inner man: the mind (including knowledge, thinking, reflection, and memory), the will (which includes inclination, resolution, determination, and decisions), heart and understanding, as well as our conscience. The "heart" is also the seat of our appetites, emotions, and passions. ALL of this in in the hand of the Lord, and he directs it wherever he pleases.

There is so much we can be confident about when it comes to our hearts and the will of God, especially as we pray for those we love and want to know the Lord. John MacArthur writes in Twelve Extraordinary Women:

"The manner of Lydia's conversion is a fine illustration of how God always redeems lost souls. From our human perspective, we may think we are seeking Him, that trusting Christ is merely a 'decision' that lies within the power of our own will to choose, or that we are sovereign over our own hearts and affections. In reality, wherever you see a soul like Lydia's truly seeking God, you can be certain God is drawing her. Whenever someone trusts Chrsit, it is God who opens the heart to believe. If God himself did not draw us to Christ, we would never come at all. Jesus was quite clear about this: 'No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him' (John 6:44). 'No one can come to Me unless it has been granted to him by My Father' (verse 65)."

"That is why we pray for the salvation of our loved ones. (If salvation we solely dependent on our own free-will choice, what would be the point of praying to God about it?) We also know in our hearts that we cannot boast of being wiser or more learned than our neighbors who still do not believe. We know in our hearts that our salvation is wholly and completely the work of God's grace, and not in any sense our own doing. All believers, like Lydia, must confess that it was God who first opened our hearts to believe."

So Lydia's heart, as well as ours and those we love, is in the hand of the Lord. But what about her response? Our response? That's our responsibility. What does it mean to have a responsive heart? "Responsive" has this definition:

"responding especially readily and sympathetically to appeals, efforts or influences; acting in response, as to some stimulus (in this case, Christ); reacting or replying quickly or favorably, as to a suggestion, initiative, etc"

The Greek word used in Acts 16:14 to describe Lydia as responsive is "prosechō ," which means to turn the mind to, attend, to be attentive (to a person or a thing: of caring for, providing for); to apply one's self to, attach one's self to, hold or cleave to a person or a thing (to be given or addicted to; to devote thought and effort to).

But how will we know how to respond to God if we don't listen? Psalm 78:1 says,

"O my people, hear my teaching;
listen to the words of my mouth."

There are two words to notice here: "hear" and "listen." There is a big difference. We can hear something, but that doesn't mean we're listening. We hear sounds, but we listen to words. The Hebrew word used here for "listen" means to be obedient to, and that's exactly how we love God. John 14:21 says,

"Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.”

And Jesus models this for us 10 verse later in John 14:31:

"but the world must learn that I love the Father and that I do exactly what my Father has commanded me."

Just as children love their earthly fathers by being obedient, so we love our Heavenly Father! God is not a tyrannical judge, but a loving father. 2 John 1:6 says,

"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love."

We love God by being obedient and responding to him. But we must also be available to him. We need to learn the art of margin- leaving room in our lives. How can we possibly respond to God if we're "too busy?" Women so easily tend to do this; we find security and value in being busy. If we remember the definition of "responsive" it included the words "readily" and "quickly." That means not trying to fit responding to God into our lives or putting it off until we have time, but doing it now!

We can look at Lydia's story and see her example. What was her response once she became a believer? Verse 15 has 3 responses: she was baptized, she shared Christ with others, and she opened her home to Paul and his team of missionaries. This is not necessarily our application, but a lesson to learn from her heart.

We so often avoid responding to God because there are obstacles: time, sin, fear, doubt, laziness, etc. So during the workshop, we spent some time praying about what God is laying on our heart to respond to and what is holding us back. Some questions to help are:

• What can we learn from Lydia?
• What has God been laying on your heart to do or obey?
• How do I live this out in my life?

I finished sharing mom's story at the end of our time together. God did answer my prayer and finished my mom's story like Lydia's. We read the Bible together, she asked questions and we searched the Scripture together. One day when I came home, she shared with me that she had been thinking a lot about all the things we were talking about and reading, and she realized that this is what she had been missing. She started crying, and I asked her as I started to cry, "Mom, do you trust Jesus?" and she said, "Yes, I do." Praise God!!!!

What a great opportunity to study God's word, share with these awesome young women from my own heart, and learn how to respond to God. Thank you all for your prayers and support!