An Update and Other News

So, for those of you who have been praying, thank you. I thought I would update you all. My grandfather was in the hospital for a week before he passed away on Friday night. It was hard to receive the news, even though I knew it was coming. I guess there's always just a small, even very small, spark of hope within me. Part of me is glad he is no longer suffering, but then the other part of me is just sad. Losing a human life is something I don't think I could ever get used to. It's such a weird place to be, grieving. I am so thankful I got to spend some time with him last month. If I could encourage any of you, spend time with your family and people you love, mend relationships, forgive.

I'm reading a passage of Scripture and writing something for his memorial service. Pray as we prepare things and get everything in order. His service is in Miami next weekend.

One thing that I've been realizing is how easy it is to focus on your circumstances. That's a problem. When your focus is on life's troubles, you feel like you're thrown around and beaten down during trials. At least that's what it can feel like to me. But what happens when our focus is on the one thing that doesn't change? You're not tossed around as much. So that's what I've been seeking to do- keep my focus on Christ, who doesn't change. He is my one constant.

In other news, the spring semester is in full swing. We started our Bible study, and I can honestly say I am SO excited about it. We are reading Colossians, and already I love getting deep into the Word, and getting the girls in my Bible study excited about it too. I've been meeting one-on-one with some of the freshmen girls, as well as some of the upper-classmen, and I walk away every time thinking, "Wow, this is a blessed job." Thank you for your support and your prayers!

On that note, I'm still fund raising. I have a deadline coming up at the end of the month, and I still have $2,472 to raise. Sometimes it seems near impossible to get to 100%. But I know that God can and does provide! Would you pray for my funding? And would you prayerfully consider helping me reach this goal by giving a special one time gift of $100-$1000, or partnering with me monthly $25-$100? In reaching my budget, I will be able to stay on campus and continue to minister to young women at Florida State! Thank you so much friends!

When My Heart is Breaking

Hello friends. I'm asking for your prayers today. My grandfather was in a car accident last Friday and was rushed to the hospital. He's been in critical condition, unconscious and paralyzed from the neck down. They performed a surgery Friday night to fuse three of his vertebrae, but his condition has not improved. Last night they moved him to the hospital hospice; his heart is slowing down and he is dying.

I praise God my brother and I were able to see him and spend a great day with him last month, but this is really difficult to handle. I'm trying my best, but most of the time I just feel like I'm walking around with a fake smile on my face. I know in my head that God is good, but so many of my experiences make it difficult for me to believe that in my heart sometimes. In the midst of times like these, I feel so under attack.

This brings me right back to losing my mom. Those wounds have yet to heal. I hurt for my family, losing another member. I yearn for heaven, for something better than this. I long for good things in this life. I find it hard to face the days this week. Please pray for me. Pray for my family, that this would draw them closer to the Lord, and not further away. Pray for my grandfather, that God would work a miracle in the last breath of his life. That's all I have energy to write today. Thanks for reading, and thanks for praying.



From JJ Heller

Your Hands

I have unanswered prayers
I have trouble I wish wasn't there
And I have asked a thousand ways
That You would take my pain away
That You would take my pain away

I am trying to understand
How to walk this weary land
Make straight the paths that crookedly lie
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine
Oh Lord, before these feet of mine

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

When You walked upon the Earth
You healed the broken, lost, and hurt
I know You hate to see me cry
One day You will set all things right
Yea, one day You will set all things right

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave Your hands

Your hands
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still
Your hands that shape the world
Are holding me, they hold me still

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave You when...

When my world is shaking
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking
I never leave...
I never leave Your hands