I grew up here. This
was once home. I lived here from the time I was 2 until I left for college at 18, and came back so often to visit my mom. I used to love coming back to visit. Walking in the door of our now empty house yesterday, I was reminded of all the times I came home and I'd walk in and call, "Mom!" I'll never be able to call out for her again, and this place reminds me of that every time. The house is a reflection of how I feel when I think about these things: empty, sad, lonely. Normally, I come back here every 4-8 weeks to maintain the house, do yard work, or take care of anything else related to my mom's estate. This time is different. I've never come back here with an additional purpose, and because of that, this trip has been different so far. It's still hard to be here, but I'm reminded again of 2 Chronicles 20, this time verse 12:
"For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are upon you."
I'm keeping my eyes on the Lord and what he is doing here and what he is preparing me for in the future, instead of looking back and being attacked by the past. It's been very encouraging so far.
I arrived last night and had a F2F at 7 with the parents of one of my closest friends. This family has taken me in over the past 10 years as part of their family, and I was delighted to share with them what God is doing. I even got to share with them for the first time my testimony, in which their daughter, my friend Michelle, has a significant role. You see, I don't come from a Christian family upbringing. I met Michelle when we were in 8th grade and was immediately accepted by her family. She remained one of my best friends through high school (and continues to remain one of my closest friends) and it was our senior year that I was invited by one of our friends to go to church. I was extremely hesitant because I didn't know anything about God or the Bible and thought I would be asked questions I didn't know the answer to, but Michelle was very encouraging and said that she would even go with me to this church and check it out as well. So we both went and it was through this church at the end of my senior year over the summer that I accepted Christ. That summer I realized that it wasn't about knowing about God from a distance or knowing all the Bible stories, but there was a relationship with Him to be had, a deep and very personal relationship that offered me the grace that I so desperately longed for. Six years ago this month I committed my life to living for Christ, and it has never been the same.
Sharing this with Michelle's parents was awesome, but was even greater for me was hearing their side of the story. They knew how I hadn't been raised in a Christian home, and were always so welcoming to me. Michelle's whole family (5 kids!) always attended church together, so when Michelle came home one day after school and told her parents that she wanted to go to a different church they were a little surprised. But she explained that I'd agreed to go if she went with me, and so her parents told me last night, "If it's going to get Victoria to church, then let her go!" To see how they supported Michelle's decision to go with me was so encouraging, and it's so cool to look back and learn new details of God's intricate and sovereign plan to lead me towards Himself!
Anyways, my F2F with them went really well! Of course it was super relational because we had so much common ground and things to talk about, but at the end they shared that they would be happy to support me because they have seen personally in the lives of their own children how the Navigator ministry impacts students and deepens their faith. I left feeling really encouraged and continually amazed at how God is at work.
Another praise to the Lord is that this past weekend I emailed the missions pastor at my church here in Fort Myers, telling him a little about what I will be doing with EDGE Corps, sent him my letter, and asking if it would be possible to meet with him this week. He told me we would love to and to call to set up an appointment. So on my way down here yesterday I talked to his secretary and she said there was time to meet with me this morning at 11! Wow! I wasn't sure what to expect or how this might differ from my other F2Fs, but I just felt so much peace about how God has worked this all out so well, and walked forward in faith. Our meeting went so well! It was a lot different since he is a representative of this church and since we had never met before, but it was so awesome to share with him the part that this church has played in the journey leading to this point. I wouldn't be a follower of Christ if it weren't for the faithful members of this church! He wanted to know the details of what the navigators is about, my involvement with them, and he was very intentional about asking about my specific needs and how I was hoping for them to partner. I shared with him all that I could and told him my budget and he was surprised at how little time there is to raise that much support, but I told him honestly how God has already been faithfully at work providing for me, and I have total faith that he will provide all that I need in order to get me on campus. He was really interested in the ministry and my story and told me he wanted to meet again, next time with the whole mission's committee so that I can share with them God's vision and call so that they can know exactly what it's all about. In fact, he said, some of the members will be there tonight at church and he invited me to come back to meet them! He's going to introduce me personally so that they can already have a face to my name! Amazing! I don't know exactly how God will use these people to partner with the ministry, but I have complete faith that he will! I know the pastor I met with is really excited about this and about introducing me tonight! I'm praying BIG for this opportunity!
I think so far that's one thing I've been learning through this journey: to pray BIG and take big risks! I serve a mighty God- "I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?" Jeremiah 32:27. There is no point in limiting God, in taking only small steps. I have been challenged through this to step out in new ways and trust God. When I emailed this pastor, I didn't even know if he would have time to meet me, let alone be really interested in what I'm doing, but there was no harm in sending an email. God totally rewards risk, but how can he reward us if we don't step out and trust him? We can never limit God, but we limit what he blesses us with when we don't ask for it.
All in all, coming back here was intimidating. I was not looking forward to it, wanting to just get down here and get it over with. It's never easy to come back, to step foot in my mom's empty house and be forced to remember how much I miss her. But I was also reminded two days again, in my F2F with the generous couple I mentioned in the previous post, of something good. She said that she is so excited about what I am doing, and even though my mom isn't here to witness what God is doing and how he is planning on using the trials permitted in my life to reach the lives of students, my mom would be proud of me. And I think she's right. My mom always, always supported me in anything I did, and this wouldn't be an exception. Especially since my mom trusted the Lord at the end of her life, she would be my number one fan. She always was, and always will be. And I am consistently reminded of that, especially being here.
Though I haven't even been here a full 24 hours, I am again amazed and encouraged at the favor the Lord has shown me. I know I'm still at the beginning, but I am really enjoying the challenge and blessings of the journey of raising support.
One more thing- I've also been reminded of a verse I read on the plane on my way back from Summit, as I embarked upon this journey:
"We always thank God for all of you, mentioning you in our prayers. We continually remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you, because our gospel came to you not simply with words, but also with power, with the Holy Spirit and with deep conviction. You know how we lived among you for your sake." 1 Thessalonians 1:2-5
As I follow the Lord even when he calls me to hard places, to meet with unfamiliar people, and hold out in faith that he will provide, I think of all that journey with me. I am constantly reminded that I am not alone. My fellow laborers, be encouraged by this. I thank God for all of you :) And keep these verses in mind. Let your work be produced by your faith in our Lord, let your labor always be prompted out of love for Christ and his kingdom and for all those who know and love the Lord and those who have yet to believe, and always persevere, letting your endurance be inspired by the hope that we have in the gospel! It get's me so excited to think about how God has uniquely chosen us all to a certain ministry and it is towards this ministry that we must faithfully follow. Never lose sight of what he is calling you to! Remember how the gospel has impacted you- in it's truth, but also in its power! This is why we raise support; to get on campus, live among students for their sake, in hopes that the gospel and the Lord's kingdom would be advanced! Praise God.
That's all for now! Together with you all :)
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